I don’t actually care that much about August. I mean, I hate cold weather and that’s something that almost never happens in August in Southern Ontario… hot, humid, lovely August. But other than that, it’s just a month like any other.
Another month in which I haven’t finished my novel.
Sigh
The process has stalled right at the precipice of being finished. It’s only a few pages of edits away! But sitting down and actually doing those edits has proven remarkably difficult. Don’t say “Writer’s Block,” I don’t believe in it. Say instead “exhaustion coupled to depression,” which is far more accurate.
Such is life sometimes. Thankfully the other projects I’m working on are nearing an end, so I should actually be able to get time and energy back to my writing soon. That’s the plan, at least. We’ll see how it goes.
Hope everyone out there is staying safe and healthy!
Exhausted, But Still At it
I was almost hit by a car today while biking. I wish I could say it was rare that a car almost hits me, but Canadian drivers are not super aware of other things on the road… I suspect a side-effect of a large country divided by long, mostly-empty roads has resulted in generations of drivers that often forget there are other people out there.
Maybe that’s just me. Or maybe I’m just unlucky. Who knows? Either way, somebody turning left through a protected bike lane came within a meter of converting me into a past-tense version of myself.
I was a little shaken, but otherwise escaped unharmed. I suppose I am grateful for that.
But there is definitely a part of me that, upon realizing that I wouldn’t be hospitalized, was a little disappointed. It meant that I had to go to my day job.
It was around then I realized how tired I was, and it was only 9am. Not a great way to start the day.
Ah well. I’m home now, and I can have at least a few hours of doing art. I aim to make the most of it.
Hope everyone out there is staying safe and healthy!
CMOs and the Stupid Things They Say
It might be unwise to badmouth Squarespace on a Squarespace website, but here I am.
What the CMO said a few days back was insulting to say the least, and utterly idiotic at the worst. It was bad enough that I am seriously considering migrating to a new service… sadly, I am a bit of a luddite, so I’ll have to be slow and careful with that migration, but unless a very, very strongly worded apology backed up by some actual ramifications comes down the pipeline soon, I think I’ll move.
A damn shame.
Anyway, that’s all backend stuff, and if everything goes the way it’s supposed to, none of you reading this will even know that I changed websites. But that’s the newest level of “This Isn’t Writing But Is An Important Part of Writing” that I have to deal with currently. Huzzah.
Hope everyone out there is staying safe and healthy!
Finally Recovering
There are few things I miss about my youth. I didn’t have a “hard” childhood by most measures… my parents weren’t the most affectionate, but they weren’t outright cruel either. I had to work, a lot, to keep them happy… lots of odd jobs, though, and not because we were on the verge of starvation or anything.
But one of the things I do miss about being young is the ability to bounce back after sickness or injury. Gosh, I have a few injuries that have hung around now for years, and the sickness I caught last week is just starting to let up.
So that’s a blessing, I suppose? A week of lost productivity and work in exchange for getting better seems like a fair trade.
And, hey, in the interim I managed to watch Shogun, the semi-historical retelling of the events leading up to the battle of Sekigahara, which led to the founding of the Tokugawa Shogunate, which would then (more-or-less) peacefully rule Japan for centuries.
Interesting show. There are choices that confuse me (like why not use the actual names from history), but still, I enjoyed it a lot.
Anyway! I am now officially “better” (although still not quite 100%), so I am getting back to making art!
Hope everyone out there is staying safe and healthy!
Sick Day
On Saturday I came down with something. Sore throat, cough, headache… you know, the usual suspects for standard ‘being sick” in the modern era.
Was it COVID? I don’t know. Maybe? I haven’t gotten one of the vaccines in a few months, so it’s certainly not impossible.
Regardless, it meant I had to spend an entire day in bed, alternating between napping and wishing I was napping. Not a productive time, and one of my ears is basically a solid clog right now. Fun!
So no updates for a few days, and no meaningful work on any of my many, many projects. Which sucks!
But I guess it can’t really be avoided. And I’m already feeling a bit better, so a few more days of rest and I should be back on my feet.
Hope everyone out there is staying safe and healthy!
Class Dismissed!
Well, I think I’ve done my final university course for the foreseeable future.
This last class (EN-489 “Foundations and Future of Cyberpunk”) was a lot of fun, and very educational, but I think it was also the final gasp I made towards getting an English degree. My grades are exemplary, but I am out of time and money, and still 6 courses shy of the degree.
Which means I’ve taken 14 English classes, some which were great, and some which were… not… but overall I had a really good time being back in school. I’ll miss it, but I just can’t afford it.
With some luck they might hold onto my progress for a few years, and maybe I’ll come back to it when I have time again, but for now all that time and money are getting poured into my writing career in an effort to stabilize it enough that I can switch to doing it full-time.
Which was always the goal. Is still the goal. We’ll get there.
Hope everyone out there is staying safe and healthy!
What Is Cyberpunk?
I’m sure I’ve mentioned it before, but I’m taking a course on Cyberpunk right now at a local university. The main focus of the course is about what defines Cyberpunk as a genre… a combination of the aesthetics, auditory, visual, and written media that are labelled as such, and how to determine whether a given work is Cyberpunk or not.
To some extent, this is purely academic. What makes a genre is that books are put in that genre, and people acknowledge the social contract in which the author(s) work. But it is kinda neat thinking about work that I wouldn’t instinctively consider Cyberpunk and try to figure out what it is about that piece that either does, or doesn’t, make it part of the genre. Altered Carbon, for example, is a perfect case of something I didn’t consider, but almost certainly is. One could make the same argument for the first book/season of The Expanse, a favourite of mine.
Anyway. My final term paper is due on Friday, and I’m writing this post here as a way of procrastination without actually procrastinating. I’m thinking about the paper, I’m writing about writing the paper… it’s kinda like actually doing the work, right?
Hope everyone out there is staying safe and healthy!
Books Read
All of my books are enrolled in a thing that allows me to get a little money from people who read my books without having to buy my books. It’s a neat system, and it works out pretty okay for me.
But so far in June, several people have read my books, but nobody has bought one of my books. In fact, since late May I haven’t sold a single copy.
Now, that might sometimes be a cause for concern. The only real downside at this point is that I was on track for a stellar year, and this is going to put a little hiccup in that year, back down to a merely good year. That’s okay, just steps on the path to being a full-time writer, but a little discouraging.
The real trick is not panicking and doing a bunch of stuff to try and get those numbers back. Three weeks isn’t long enough to draw good conclusions about anything in such a small and limited pool. I’m going to keep pushing ahead with my work, the way I always do, and hope that the release of my novel will help pump my number back up a bit. That would be great.
Hope everyone out there is staying safe and healthy!
Step by Step
There are no shortcuts to success. Only hard work.
In Ontario when I was growing up, teachers had a book of phrases that were “approved” for use on report cards. Basically, the teacher would pick which phrase they thought best represented the student’s progress, and put that on the final report.
In Grade 4 (when I was… 12?) my teacher put that on my report card. I don’t agree with the statement (there are many, many shortcuts to success), but it is true that hard work does, usually, help lead to success. It’s not sufficient (hard work alone won’t make you successful), but in a vacuum it’s often your best odds outside of being born rich.
That’s the real secret. But if you weren’t born rich, might as well work hard. You might someday make it.
Hope everyone out there is staying safe and healthy!
Ready Player Number
For the course I am taking on Cyberpunk, I had to both read and watch Ready Player One. It’s a tough read, and an even tougher watch… plot holes aside, there are a lot of issues with how women, minorities, and other sexual orientations are depicted (or not depicted, in some cases). Cline didn’t do a great job, and Spielberg somehow managed to make it worse? That’s unfair, I’m not sure it’s Spielberg’s “fault” insomuch as the movie somehow made a lot of the questionable decisions worse.
But as always, I am drawn back to my own art. Would my portrayals of other races, other genders, and other sexualities be equally bad? I try to be conscious of it, but I have a lot of baggage to work through and I am positive some of it falls through the cracks. I wrote an entire character who is basically a sexist jerk for one novel… I could’ve fixed it, but I didn’t. Maybe I should’ve? I dunno.
Anyway. It was good to revisit the world of RPO to remind myself that I don’t have to get things perfect… I just need to try and do better, and that’s a pretty low bar, sadly.
Hope everyone out there is staying safe and healthy!
Pure Jealousy
I freely admit I get jealous at times. I try to not let it impact me too much… like many feelings, I acknowledge it, and then try to get on with my life.
The jealousy isn’t angry jealousy. I see people doing stuff that I wish I could be doing (and know I am capable of!), and I get this feeling in the pit of my stomach which I can only describe as crushing depression. This feeling of “I could be doing that, but I’m not, and I have nobody to blame but myself.”
It’s an oversimplification, of course. I don’t get jealous of people who are super rich, or people who are living lavish lifestyles (often the same people, granted). I get jealous of artists who get to create art. Art that I love, and that I am absolutely certain I could make similar work to, if I had a chance.
I am jealous of opportunity, I suppose? Of all the things I want to do but can’t.
Struggling with that right now. But still editing the book, so… at least there’s progress, I suppose.
Hope everyone out there is staying safe and healthy!
Slow Month
I have hit something of a wall in my editing. I keep reading this one particular note from my editor, and every time I do I go into an exhausted doom-spiral until I shut my laptop, only to run into the same problem the next day.
I think part of it is that May has been a pretty slow month for sales. Good start, but nothing really for the last two weeks. Which is depressing, and that is a tough headspace to edit in. Editing is soul-crushing even when it’s good and important (which it is!).
Ah well. Tomorrow my plan is to finish editing the book and send it back to my editor for a final pass, and then to release it in a few weeks.
Hope everyone out there is staying safe and healthy!
East Hacks West
For my cyberpunk course this week I watched two films: the original 1995 animated Ghost in the Shell, and then the 2017 live-action American version of Ghost in the Shell.
It was fascinating watching them back-to-back. So many of the story beats are similar (if not exactly the same), but so much of the underlying philosophy is radically different.
The original dives very deep into what it means to be human and is constantly questioning whether the protagonist, Major Kusanagi, is actually a human at all. What does it mean that people treat her like she’s human? Does that matter, or alternatively is that all that matters?
The second is focused instead on what defines us as humans, but sacrifices almost all the philosophical thought and pacing of the original to instead give us a more focused story on revenge and evil corporations. Which is a fascinating take on GitS, no argument, but it’s not nearly the same.
Anyway, it’s a very interesting study into the contrasts of the differences (at the time, at least) in Western vs Eastern cyberpunk. The original doesn’t “look” the way I usually think of cyberpunk, but the second doesn’t “feel” the way cyberpunk normally does.
Still. I was impressed with both in their own way (although the original is a stone-cold classic that is breathtaking both for its time and with a modern lens, and the second is just pretty good). A useful use of a few hours of my life.
I hope everyone out there is staying safe and healthy!
Price Changes
A couple more of my books have gone up a few dollars in price. It was not a decision I undertook lightly, but I can say with some confidence that my increase in price for my previous works hasn’t resulted in a precipitous fall in sales, and everything I do costs more money.
Things like… eating, for example. Way more expensive these days.
So while I don’t think that increasing my prices is going to have a big impact on sales (if any), even a humble increase in profits will have a big impact on my ability to keep writing and editing books.
And so it is done. I still have three books at the “old” price, and I suspect they’ll probably stay at that price for quite some time yet. Oooh, I might have four books at that price… either way, if you want to read something I have written but you only have a few dollars, you can still do it!
Hope everyone out there is staying safe and healthy!
Thinking about Covers
The old adage “don’t judge a book by its cover” is good advice that nobody follows.
I mean, even I judge many of the books I read specifically by the cover art! A lot of the time it’s to try and figure out if I want cover art similar to it on my own works… Scalzi’s last sci-fi trilogy all featured starships and lots of green, for example.
Which is a tiny bit unusual, in that for whatever reason red seems to be the colour for most sci-fi books. My own most successful book is “Caitlyn Morcos” and it has both a starship and a red cover.
But the new book, “A Desperate Path Through the Stars” doesn’t have a starship on the cover… it has stars, and it has the protag pretty prominently, and I think it’s a good cover, but it’s not typical for the kind of covers I usually pick.
Oh, I’m so ready to get this novel out of my head and into all of your hands… soon!
Hope everyone is staying safe and healthy!
Almost Done the Edits!
I’m on the last few (critical) chapters of the novel and then I’m done with this wave of edits.
Then it’s off to the editor (again), and then uploaded to Amazon and off to all of you fine, incredibly patient people!
The last few months have been pretty consistently good (by my standards) for book sales, and I’m hoping that a new novel will give my overall work a boost. It doesn’t have to be big, just consistent… that’s really the goal. To do this long-term, I have to keep aiming for small, sustainable steps that I can make.
Still, it’s a process, and I’ll be happy to see the edits done and the book one big step closer to being done!
Hope everyone out there is staying safe and healthy!
Picking up the Pace
I’m not a fan of hustle-culture.
I don’t like the idea that people think you have to work yourself to death to be an artist. That the only way to create art is to push and push and push every waking moment, and some sleeping moments, to spread yourself too thin and work too hard and all that.
But at the same time, I have deadlines. Soft deadlines, for now (if the novel I’m working on releases in June instead of May, the only person directly impacted by this is me), but deadlines nonetheless. And since I’m elbow-deep in edits right now, the temptation to keep pushing and working and pushing until I actually finish is pretty overwhelming.
But that won’t help! I don’t gain anything by burning out. I lose a lot, in fact. So I have to be measured and careful and steady… but I still have a billion things I want to do and no time to do any of it.
Gah.
Oh well. Edits are happening! The first few chapters are done, and they’re the toughest because they’re also the most important. With any luck, I’ll be done the edits by the end of the week… I think I can do that.
Unrelated sidenote: I’m finally watching the last season of The Expanse. Gosh it’s good. Two episodes remaining!
Hope everyone out there is staying safe and healthy!
Something-Something Lions
Edits continue! May has appeared! What is time, anyway!
In the words of the wise Douglas Adams, “Time is an illusion. Lunch time doubly so.”
I am working my butt off trying to get everything done and ready and polished and edited, and there’s just not enough time to do everything.
But that’s okay! Really! I do this work because I love it, and being busy isn’t a bad thing (it would be really nice if I could make a living wage while doing it, but one step at a time!).
Hope everyone out there is staying safe and healthy!
Starting the Edits!
Okay, I’ve taken as long away from my novel as I can stand… time to dive into those fifth draft edits!
Still on course to be finished by mid-May… let’s see how the editing process goes!
Hope everyone out there is staying safe and healthy!
It's Been One Week Since You Looked At Me...
“Threw your arms in the air and said I’m crazy…”
Ah, Barenaked Ladies. Truly a Canadian cornerstone of rock. Anyway, it has been a full week since I’ve posted, but there hasn’t been a tonne of new and exciting to post about.
Got my novel back. Talked to Christine about it, received some very useful feedback (and it was nice to finally meet her! We’ve been working together for 8 years now… not quite since the very beginning, but very close). Plus she had a chance to show off her beautiful home in PEI. Really, win-win.
But since then I’ve been stuck on other artistic pursuits, rather than my writing, in an effort to pay for my writing! The story of my life, really. But I’ll get back to the novel… probably this weekend, actually. And then I’ll finish up that fourth draft, and then that goes back to Christine for a once-over, and then into all y’all hands! Woo!
So just because I’m not posting, doesn’t mean things aren’t happening!
Hope everyone out there is staying safe and healthy!