This time of year is always a little introspective for me… a look at the past year, perhaps the past few years, and a consideration of everything that has or hasn’t happened over that time.
Most of the time it’s pretty depressing. The last couple years in particular have been harder than most, and I think that holds for everyone, but even before this nonsense, my time is usually spent trying to figure out where, exactly, things went wrong.
Now I don’t want to come off as whiny. I have a lot of blessings in my life, and a fair dose of that is due to this work… I love writing. It’s hard, sure, but any day I can spend crafting words into sentences into stories is a good day. Any day that I can’t is a worse day for it.
But a part of me is looking at the successes of others and wondering what they’re doing differently than me. A lot of it is money, I know, because money just makes everything easier. Editing, art, time… all of them cost money, and often a lot of money, and so me scrambling around trying to do whatever I can with the scant resources I have is definitely making the climb more uphill. I get that.
But that can’t be it. And I want to stress that my definition of “success” is very, very modest. I don’t want or need huge buckets of cash, or the adoration of thousands. In order for me to make this writing-thing a success I need about 3-4 thousand people to buy each of my new releases. That’s not nothing, and I’m certainly closer to that number than ever before, but a fraction of what any New York Times Bestseller reaches. And that’s okay! A few hundred copies a week would be plenty.
But that’s still a long, long way off.
Ah well. I’m waxing poetic rather than doing the work, and that’s a big part of the problem… so instead, I’m going to try and finish my exams, so I can get back to writing.
Hope everyone out there is staying safe and healthy!