One of my courses this year requires that I keep a weekly journal. At first I pushed back against it (I mean, I’m going to do it regardless, but I mentally groaned when it was announced) because it’s always seemed so self-indulgent.
And then I realized that I am already keeping a journal (hello!) and that this felt bad only because I was doing it for a purpose rather than because I enjoyed it.
My partner told me years ago about a study where a bunch of kids were playing hockey on the street and an old man enjoyed watching them play so much that he offered to pay them for it. And the kids immediately lost interest in playing because now it was something they had to do instead of something they chose to do.
I’ve always hated the story (mostly because of how deeply I disagree with the fundamental message of “Do what you love and don’t worry about the money” being a message of rich people telling their rich kids to ignore the plight of everyone else), but I suddenly understood it here. I like writing… I love writing! But now I was being told I had to write and I wasn’t excited about it!
So I decided then and there that I was going to approach it as another blog like this one, but with an audience of one. I am going to target my rambling, rather on the things that bring me joy, as I do here, on things that will bring my professor joy. What does she want to read? I’m going to do my best to write that.
We’ll see how it plays out. One of the reasons I went back to school in the first place was to figure out how to write to a market… and hey, this is a very specialized market. Who knows? Maybe I’ll learn a thing or two in the process.
Hope everyone out there is staying safe and healthy!